The Perfect Dark Tucson Bar for When You Need to Hide from the World
Happy Birthday America. It's been a rough week (month? year? few centuries?) in this country. It gets exhausting. Sometimes, the only available next step is to find yourself a dark place of sanctuary to restore yourself for the fight ahead. In Tucson, we're good at this, because when it's regularly over 110˚ outside, you get good at finding sanctuary.
For this reason, I think Tucson is especially good at dark bars for when you need to hide from the world. The bars on this list (plural, no one's perfect) are places where you can get a stiff and tasty drink at a fair price from a kind face in a dark room with an excellent air conditioner. Some weeks, that's what you need to get through.
In the basement below Reilly craft pizza & drink
Reilly used to be a funeral home and TLC was the morgue! What more do you want from your dark bar hideaway?? The tables are marble slabs. It's great. And cold. Bring a sweater. Plus the drinks are weird in such a good way. I still remember when they were all Simpsons themed and there was a Tomacco cocktail that restored my faith in humanity.
This is just my favorite all around bar in Tucson, the only place where I've ever had a usual that the bartenders place before me as soon as I sit down, without my having to ask. Their Dirty Grover's is the best dirty martini in the country, and my search has been extensive. To me, a dirty martini is the perfect drink for when you need to hide from the world. The olive juice replenishes your electrolytes while the gin (always gin) fills you with the righteous rage you'll need to take on the inevitable injustices of tomorrow. And Kingfisher, with its windowless nook of a bar, with those Iron Maiden chairs they kept from when the place was a heavy metal hangout, is the perfect place to drink a dirty martini.
Tucson is also great at dive bars and Danny's is one of the best. The AZ Daily Star said it when they said, "Walk into Danny's and you'll feel like you've stepped back in time. You won't be sure how far back you've gone, exactly. Just that things are simpler at Danny's." This is often what you're really looking for when you feel the need to hide from the world. Don't order a fancy drink at Danny's. Order a Jameson on the rocks and drink it at one of the cracked vinyl booths. Bring a friend. Complain about your lives. You'll feel better.